Alright, people keep bugging me to tell this story, so I am going to share. However I am separating this into two parts. The first part is an excerpt explaining the dynamic of the club crawl itself. The second part is a short story that people constantly ask me to recount. If you just want the story, go to Part 2.

Part 1 of the Club Crawl

So Ra invited Chef and I to a club crawl. For those of you who are unfamiliar with such an event, a club crawl is similar to a bar crawl, in that you go to several clubs throughout the night. One of our friends managed to get in touch with a promoter who set this whole thing up. This particular club crawl was inexpensive and cost $15 a person for the whole night. The options of the night were all Hollywood clubs that consisted of Social, Kress, Highlands, with a few bars thrown in there.

Chef and I met up with Ra and a few others at Beauty Bar.  Beauty Bar used to be a salon and there are remnants of salon chairs and couches everywhere. I thought this was an odd place to start the crawl since most of the patrons consisted of couples and scary middle-aged women. I pushed the thoughts aside as the drinks came. Not a bad way to start the night.

We set out to the first club, Social, on foot. We were curious to see the promoter do his magic since we were a little skeptical about the price. Each club runs a cover charge of $20 easily. To the promoter’s credit, though, after waiting a few minutes in line, we made it into Social.

From my perspective the club consisted of a lobby and a main room. Part of the main room consisted of couches for bottle service and the rest was a big dance floor. I was informed later that Social has multiple floors, but we only saw one.

The club was relatively well lit, so we headed to the bar immediately and ordered drinks. While part of the group hit the dance floor, Chef and I stood back and looked around. We did not see any women worth talking to, hitting on, or buying a drink for at all. I shrugged with the thought, “There are other clubs to hit tonight”. Chef and I sat down and chilled on one of Social’s oddly placed couches. I say that  because the couches were off to the side, but still in the middle of the dance floor.

As Chef and I sat, Chef pointed out a group of large women to our left. While I’m not one to immediately judge a girl on her size, Chef was not a fan. In fact if you know Chef, you know he likes his women fit. Well, to Chef’s dismay as we sat on the couch, the large girls managed to waddle over and inadvertently started dancing in front of him. Chef was not happy to say the least. In fact he was livid. If there is one thing Chef can not stand, it’s a big girl.

I, on the other hand, found the situation downright hysterical, so I was laughing the entire time. To make matters worse, a larger gentleman walked over to one of the girls. The two moved to the side of Chef and the other girls disappeared. The couple then started dancing right next to Chef, or rather what appeared to be dancing. I will say the massive amount of jiggling that occurred inches away from Chef’s face was pretty brutal (though like I said, hilarious). In fact they were shaking so violently that I thought that either the guy, the girl, or Chef would explode at some point.

Well needless to say Chef could not bare the jiggling any longer and we both got up and left the club, leaving the rest of our group inside. Moments later the rest of the group found us and we continued the crawl.

The next place we hit was a bar (whose name unfortunately escapes me) that apparently served $5 Long Island Iced Teas. This was the only place that I was SUPER excited about. We go inside and yes, there were $5 Long Islands. However all good things must come to an end. Minutes after ordering our drinks we were told by the promoter that we had to leave to hit the next club. We downed our Long Islands and beers and headed out, though not before randomly hitting on two women who were at the bar for a birthday party. Oh well…

Before we hit the bar we decided against going to Kress. I had been there before and was not a fan. The last stop of the night was Highlands, which is a club off of Hollywood and Highland. I was actually not a big fan of this club either and had been a number of times before. The bouncers were pushy and way too into their job.

Regardless, we got into the Highlands without any hassle (which was a first in my opinion). We chilled there for a while. It was exactly how I remembered it. Highlands was comprised of two clubs, Highlands and Rise. Rise being the classier of the two. Highlands on the other hand was super crowded and filled with some strange folks.

I decided that I was going to stop drinking and sober up for the drive home. In the end Chef and I wound up leaving our group to hit a pizza place across the street. That was the end of our club crawl. For what it was, it was decent. I did not have any real complaints, though the clubs were not my thing that night. It was still fun hanging out and at least we got to experience something different.

Read Part 2 for the story of the night