So while I was visiting my home town, I went to a friend’s birthday party. My friend’s house was 40 minutes from my own and after a night of drinking I left at around 3 am. Needless to say I was drunk, but luckily there was no one else on the road for miles.
As I was driving I realized that I was really, REALLY hungry. At the same time I also realized that I REALLY had to pee. My initial thought was to hit the Sonic Drive-In (best fast food restaurant ever) next to my house for a Extra Long Chili Cheese Coney (damn good). However my pee would not wait, so I changed my mind.
The new plan was to drive home, pee, then hit Sonic. Problem was, I did not want to go inside and risk drunkenly waking up my folks. So instead I decided to pee in my yard as a solution.
I went home and ran out of the car. In the dead of night I started urinating in my own front yard on the side of the house. As I did so, the front lights of the house lit up. I frantically looked around, “Oh, shit!”
I saw the blinds of the front door open as someone looked out at me. Then the lights turned off. “Ohshitohsiht!” I thought as I tried to push my urine out of my urethra.
The door opened abruptly and my mother’s head popped out.
- Mom: “Hello?”
- P-Tyme: “It’s me, ma’?”
- Mom: “W-What are you doing?”
- P-Tyme: “GO BACK INSIDE! GO! JUST GET BACK INSIDE!”
The door slammed closed immediately and I shook out the last drops. I looked at the door, “Fuck…”. As I walked into the house, my mom looked a me confused.
- Mom: “What were you doing?”
- P-Tyme: “I-I wAs PeEing”
- Mom: “Why were you peeing outside?”
- P-Tyme: “LoOk it MAkes comPleTE SeNSE…I wAs HuNgRY aNd I waNteD sONIc… bUT i reaLly HaD tO Pee… SOOooooo I DeciDeD tO PeE oUTside, SO thaT I WOunlD’nt wAKe You Up”
- Mom: “……..Have you been drinking?”
- P-Tyme: “……yEs”
- Mom: “…We’re going to talk about this tomorrow:”
- P-Tyme: “Ok….I’m gOinG to SoNIC!”
Needless to say, I left and got my Chili Cheese Coney, which was delicious by the way. Also my mom didn’t talk to me that day. I guess she was just too weirded out and disappointed.
I respectfully disagree. Sonic is not “the best fast food restaurant ever” as I am sure many of the party people will agree 24hour Del Taco is more satiating and Wendy’s will always be the tastiest fast food around.
Good day sir.
Hah, try the extra long chili cheese coney and cherry limeade before you make that call. Del Taco and Wendy’s don’t make their own sodas and sundaes either.