We’ve done something most people never do in their entire lives!

That’s right, we went to the one, the ONLY, Playboy Mansion. What’s even better is that The Bar and Restaurant Society received an exclusive tour of the grounds. The group consisted of Chef, Ra, Beworaeer, the Everything Nice Girls, and me. Somehow during an event we helped book, the girls got in touch with a member of the Playboy Mansion staff. One thing led to another and we were invited to see the place!

So, of course we went. The girls took one car, while we boys took another. I drove up to the gate and heard, “Can I help you?” from a nearby boulder. We gave the security guard our names and he had us drive to the front of the mansion. The three of us were as giddy as schoolboys at this point. We knew we were at the right place when we saw a sign that said, “Playmates at Play.” YES!

We drove up to the front driveway where the girls and our tour guide were waiting. The only rule of the day was that we couldn’t go inside the mansion, but could go everywhere else. So, we did! Let me reiterate, there was NO ONE else there except for our group, the guide, and a few other members of staff.

Our first destination was the infamous monkey cage. Some of you may have heard about Hugh’s monkeys on HBO’s hit show Entourage. Drama received a lifetime ban because he was accused of letting the monkeys loose. We were able to feed those monkeys and let me tell you, there were a TON of them. It was probably one of the most awesome things I’ve ever seen in my life.

The tour was far from over, though. We saw the variety of animals that lived on the property. It appears Hugh is a fan of monkeys, birds, and fish. The girls had a fun time chatting up a good-humored cockatoo that chuckled at appropriate times during the conversation.

After seeing the many animals and getting a really good look at the mansion up close, we hit the pool area. The pool is pretty cool, but the most amazing part is the infamous grotto. That’s right, THE grotto. Not only did we see it, we went inside it.  Oh, the stories those walls could tell.

We left and went to check out the party houses and the guest rooms. We saw the arcade and played Playboy Pinball. We checked out the van room and several other pillowed rooms with beds that shouted, “You’re at the Playboy Mansion, bitch!” After getting a few trademark souvenirs, we were off again.

We came back around the front of the house where we saw the hill on which Weezer filmed the music video for Beverly Hills. We passed by Hugh Hefner’s Hollywood star, which is actually a replica he keeps on the property, and his pet graveyard. The last stop was the tennis courts, which are apparently the most popular tennis course in all of Los Angeles. The tennis courts like the pool, also had its own bar.

At the end of the tour, we went back to the front of the mansion to take pictures. We even got a picture of Hugh! We were on the premises for about an hour, which honestly was the fastest hour of our lives. The best part was that our tour guide said, “We hope to have you back here soon”. HECK YEAH.

We honestly didn’t know what to do for the rest of the day. We watched Chef play with sharks for a while (yes, that is actually his hobby), then Rah and I left to grab lunch at Mel’s Diner. We figured if we were at the Playboy Mansion, we had to do something Los Angelesish.

We sat there waiting for our meals.

Rah: The Playboy Mansion…

P-Tyme: We’ve just done something that other people dream of doing.

Rah: The fucking Playboy Mansion…